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Saturday, November 01, 2008

Declaration!


Hi Everyone! I actually made this card a over a week ago but had forgotten to post it! Just a simple quicky card . . .I'm not sure I even like this card! Maybe that's the reason why I didn't post it right away.

What's with my title? Well. . .I decided to make a declaration and a promise to myself that I won't do the following things!

  • I will not buy any more designer paper for at least 6 months.
  • I will not buy any more ribbon for one year.
  • I will not excessively buy rubber stamps unless I intend to use them within the same month I bought them. Did you note that I said "excessively". LOL! I cannot promise to not buy "any" stamps, just not buy them "excessively". Too funny!
  • I will use more of my scrapbook embellishments on all my cards so I can get them down to a reasonable pile.
  • I will use at least one "scrap" designer paper on every card I make from now on.

I have more that I should list but I cannot commit to them so I'll leave my list the way it is. I sometimes look through all the stuff I have and I feel a little ashamed that I still buy more. I'll tell you a story about why I think I buy a lot of "paper products". . .

I grew up as an only child and although I had loving parents. . .it would get lonely and boring at times being by myself. . .especially on rainy days or at night when I can't play with my friends. I had this thing about collecting notebooks and filler paper. Seriously. You know, those regular filler paper that you need for school.

My paper obsession started at a young age. I recall when I would get bored or lonely, I would write, write, write. . .basically, write about nothing. When I got a little older, I began using them to write journals. I would write about anything and everything about what ever was on my mind. I had kept my journals until I was about 24 years old. . .after I got married, I was afraid that my husband would read how pathetic I was growing up so I threw them all away.

I also had a bad experience of leaving a box of journals at my parents home and a relative got hold of one of my journals and told my parents of the contents. I also had another incident when I had moved in with an Aunt when I was attending college here in California (I'm originally from Hawaii) where she snooped into my diary and arggggh! It was a DISASTER! I was upset at my Aunt for being so mean to me that I wrote my feelings in my diary! Well, that went really bad after she read what I wrote about her. It wasn't really bad stuff, just "honest" stuff. Not realizing she had read my diary, she began commenting on things that I knew I've never expressed to her. I soon realized what happened and well. . .our relationship basically went South from that point on. Eventually, I moved out and lived with a friend.

Since that incident, I actually stopped writing in journals. It was a traumatizing experience to have loved ones read your most deepest thoughts and feeling so vulnerable afterwards. When I do write my thoughts down on paper. . .I throw the paper or rip the page out and throw it in the trash. Besides, I don't like half of the things I write anyway. . .it's usually things that I find so pathetic after reading them on a future date. I'm ashamed I even thought of those things. Okay, they're not "nasty" stuff just "stupid" stuff. . .I would ask myself after reading them later, "sheesh, why did I even think that way. . .such silliness."

Anyway. . .back to my paper fetish. When I got older. . .at the start of high school, I moved on to bigger and greater paper. . .I discovered "stationery" LOL! I would buy them by the boxes. I wouldn't even write or send them to anybody. I just liked having them. Okay. . .now, I'm beginning to sound NUTZ!!

Well. . .fast forward to 4 years ago when I discovered rubber stamping and scrapbooking!! Oh, my GAWWWD!! That was it! My paper dream had come true. . .lots and lots of papers and oh all of them were so PRETTTTTTTY!! Not only did I discover designer papers, there were ribbons, cardstocks, blank books, paper galore! Well, I was in paper heaven. I never knew all these stuff existed! LOL!

Well, 4 years later. . .I've come to the realization that I have over collected and hoarded my stuff like they'll all one day "poof" . . .disappear. I just like knowing I have a lot of them whether I use them or not. I mean it's not unusual for me considering I've been doing this all my life but now I'm beginning to wonder if I should see a shrink about this? LOL! I mean it's ridiculous.

Anyway. . .that's my story. By the way, it's 4:00 in the morning. . .I woke up early and I thought, wow. . .this will be a great opportunity to blog so here I am telling you my twisted story of my paper fetish!

Hope y'all have a fabulous weekend!!

12 comments:

Cheryl said...

Your story is my exact story too, Maria. Aren't we pathetic? At least you are extremely creative and do beautiful things.
Cheryl

Cindy Haffner said...

Hee hee I think that everyone is like that. I think that Design paper grows when we are not looking, but never the papers we want. Love your card, that paper is very pretty.

Jen (Little C's) said...

Oh Boy.... NO COMMENT!!! LOL!!! I am sorry, but I am not as strong as you are to hold out on these things that long. LOL!!! But I give you credit girl... I may be forced into doing so myself though... LOL!!

I have the same DS paper you've used on this pretty card. But because the DS is so pretty - LOL... I haven't touched it yet!!! LOL!!! Mento, Mento... yes I know...

Hugs,
Jen

Tracy.H said...

Love the card, Maria! And no your are not nuts! From one only child to another? I think we all find ways of coping. ;0) It is too bad your got rid of all those journals though. Sometimes I think it can be good therapy to go back and see how you saw life...maybe put things into perspective...ya know? :0)

Elena said...

Maria, thank you for sharing your story! I think that you should feel that something wrong was with you when you wrote your journaling. Other people are not supposed to read private notes... So it is their problem if they didn't like what you wrote. I always wanted to have a notebook where I could write my thoughts, but I wasn't brave enough to do it... You are very talented and generous lady! And very creative!

Rhonda Kelly said...

Fabulous card, I love the DP. Very pretty colors too!
Thanks for sharing your story...I myself hoard paper and ribbon!!! I buy paper all the time and I hardly ever use it because I don't want to not have it anymore. To pretty to use? What is up with that, that is the purpose of me buying it...LOL

Michelle said...

I have a paper addiction too! I want everything new that comes out. I rarely go into a scrapbook store because of that reason. My daughter in law has started scrapping so I let her come over and use whatever she wants. It still seems to be multiplying...

Argyle Cats said...

you make beautiful cards!

Mel M. M. McCarthy said...

I swear that we ARE blog twins. I totally know where you're coming from. I wrote love letters and diary entries that my family read. My Grandmother even got a note out of the garbage. (Funny now, kind of lol) She was mad at me for a year before she said something & it was a nickname I though endearing but she didn't (nothing mean). Finally, I explained. I caught my DH reading my journals from when I was young (he swears I told him that he could, but it was only with me too that he was allowed. Sneaker!) It leaves you feeling exposed! I do find journal writing is good therapy. C is reading over my shoulder right now, LOL.

You are so insightful! I think that's where I got my paper complex! heehee. Should we start a club? lol

We should organize a SBS2 supply swap, just a yard of different ribbons some embellishments etc. So we can foil the commercialism of it all and have fun at the same time! :O) Sorry for the world's longest comment! lol

malieta said...

I enjoyed reading your thoughts Maria. I use to keep a diary when I was younger also. Writing is therapy and cleanses the mind. After my nosy brothers broke into my diary and read my inner thoughts, I ceased to have a diary.
I also think that most of us who blog have this strange addiction to paper. I know I do!!
Good luck with all of your declarations Maria and have a great day:)

2 Worlds said...

I think its great to put this lists to yourself as trying to control the urge to buy, maybe also if you dont walk with alot of cash is good.:)

Linda B said...

Maria: I am relieved to know that I am not the only paper addict out there.......I try so hard not to go bananas....I too stay out of stores (usually) but there are all the online temptations. I love your work....and I understand about folks snooping in your journal....I no longer do that for much the same reason.